About a month ago, I wrote about coming home and navigating reverse culture shock. I wrote about eating ice cream and staying in bed all day watching How I Met Your Mother, much to the chagrin of my own mother.
I sort of thought once I moped through the first few weeks of being home that I’d be able to get on my feet, explore my new city and feel settled for the first time in a long time.
Getting to know a new night sky.
Nashville, TN 2014
Well, you know what they say about making plans… something about the Universe laughing a big fat happy belly laugh and shaking its head at our naivety.
When the Universe laughs at me (which is often) I’m going to start laughing right back!
San Francisco, 2012
While I thought I was coming home to stop traveling, catch my breath, and relax, the opposite has happened. There have been weddings and funerals, cross-country road trips, bed bug infestations, and family feuds. It’s been a month since I’ve moved to a new city, yet every subsequent weekend has been spent in another city entirely. I’ve flown in and out of the Nashville airport so many times, you’d think I was a coveted business consultant. (I’m not).
The most consistent thing since I’ve experienced since I’ve been home has been my recurrent poison ivy. (Clearly I am not a welcome guest in the woods).
Posing in my Aventura clothes for this post.
Grain Valley, Mo 2014
I’ve been having a hard time.
Though I’ve stopped eating rum drizzled chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for breakfast, the shock of all of these rapid-fire changes is still reverberating through my body like a broken subwoofer.
When my new reality becomes too overwhelming, I’ve been turning to my pal Ted Mosby for support. It’s ridiculous, but there is something comforting about watching him fail miserably at life and love. He is annoyingly optimistic, a gooey romantic, egotistical, and doggedly determined to not be defeated by his past mistakes.
We have a few things in common. Actually, I’m pretty sure we’re living parallel lives. At least, season seven Ted and I are uncannily on the exact same page.
“I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that’s been stuck in my head all week, and I think: “Wow… Hey, maybe she’s the one?” Now I think: “I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel. It’s just, every day I think I… believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that sucks.”
How do you keep believing in destiny and the goodness of the Universe when it keeps laughing at your plans? Where does the rebirth of optimism and hope come from? How do you cope with life when it feels like one eternal transition after another? When you can’t seem able to move past exhaustion and despair?
I’m not sure, but I think laughter helps. I think friendship helps. I know cultivating faith and resilience helps.
I shared so many moments of laughter and faith with my soul sister Lena!
Teiman, Ghana 2014
One thing I admire about Ted’s character is his open heart and persistent search for Love. He may get sidetracked and distracted too often, but his hands and heart remain open for that one moment that will change his life forever. He’s consistently, actively, pursuing the life he dreams of, in spite of his failures. In spite of circumstances beyond his control. In spite of his friends repeated interventions.
He stays true to the vision, even if the details change.
As far as I’m concerned, things in my life can keep falling apart. I’m not going to worry about the outcome of my future any more. I’m going to start laughing with the Universe at my own naivety and childishness. I’m going to celebrate the demolition of my old self so that I can keep becoming and transforming.Google+